Talking to God About My Pain

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us” (Rom. 8:18, ESV).

I looked up into Jesus’ face, and I asked Him a question.

“Will You please help me understand how Your loving heart is okay with letting me hurt so much?”

He responded to me in beautiful intimacy, and I wrote down His answer. That conversation I had with Him was several years ago. Today, I want to share it with you. I have copied it here from my journal pages. This is what He breathed into my heart that day. I echoed back to Him what He had said in the following paragraphs. The communication had been Spirit-to-spirit, dropped right into my spirit from His. This kind of message comes without words, so I then needed to put it into English for processing and recording it. This is what I had understood as His response:

        “In Your foreknowledge, Lord, You knew that Adam and Eve would fall. You foresaw all the anguish of every human that would ever live. You knew that You would personally feel and experience absolutely all of it in Your enormous heart… because you are Emmanuel. You are right here with us in our pain. You knew that you would experience all this pain at its most intense, at Calvary. You understood that creating us would come at indescribably enormous personal cost to You. You looked at all the pain to come, and You looked past it, to me and You reveling in the bliss of eternal togetherness. And You said, ‘My love, You’re worth it all.’

        In the same way, You looked at the pain I would walk through. Then You looked past it to the eternal bliss that would be the reward of my suffering. In Your infinite perspective and wisdom, You knew that it would be exceedingly, indescribably worth every tear – worth it to me too, just like it is worth it to You. You knew that this blink of an eye here is not even worth comparing to – putting on a scale with – the eternal weight of glory that will TRULY VERY, VERY SOON be my reality forevermore!

        You look in my eyes now with ancient eyes that have born the pain of the ages, and You tell me again, ‘My love, you’re worth it all.’ You speak this to me with all the depths of Your fiery soul! I am the joy set before You.

       I bow down and worship You!”

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The question that I asked God that day is, no doubt, one that many of us have grappled with. Do you have any additional insights into the matter?