“How was it, going back?” my prayer partner asked me. That day, I had taken Lily in for her first follow-up appointment, post hospitalization. It took place at the same small private hospital where Lily fought for her life for two weeks in the ICU.
“Obviously I experienced immediate memory triggers,” I replied. “But He has already started healing my memories. So being there today was not painful, but thoughtful, for me.”
Friend, did you know that God can heal memories? Did you know that the Healer takes great delight in healing trauma? He does. I’ve been experiencing exactly that aspect of His beautiful nature.
Not long after the whole ordeal was finally over, I knew my heart needed healing. Just as Lily’s body has gone through an extensive process of recovery, so has my soul. I’d like to share with you what one of my restorative prayer times looked like, to encourage you on your own healing journey. (Life on fallen Planet Earth pretty much makes healing necessary for all of us at different points in our sojourn here).
The verse I have shared today from Matthew is key in understanding the way Holy Spirit has been ministering to me. Here it is again: “…They should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart… and I would heal them.” According to this Scripture, being able to see with our spiritual eyes, hear with our spiritual ears, and receive understanding at the heart level (not just the mental level), are all keys for receiving His healing.
In other words, we need the spirit of revelation. Only Holy Spirit can touch the eyes of our hearts to receive the revelation that will heal our wounds and our trauma. Look at how Ephesians ties this together: “…that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ… may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation…having the eyes of your hearts enlightened…” (Eph. 1:17-18, ESV). It’s only when He gives us the spirit of revelation that the eyes of our hearts receive their sight. Then we can see with our eyes, and receive His healing.
Here’s what this looked like for me. I did not wait long at all to begin to seek my healing, as I have come to know Jesus as the One who delights to heal me. During my quiet time with Him one morning, I was asking Him for His ministry in this way. He began to answer my prayer, giving me the spirit of revelation. As Holy Spirit moved in my spirit, He opened my hearts’ eyes to see a picture. I began to be able to see the angels that intervened in the ER, that first traumatic night when Lily had seized and lost consciousness.
What Holy Spirit gave me was not a vivid picture. Nearly always, the pictures He shows me are subtle and soft. (He speaks to each of us in different ways.) However, these images are dynamically effective. He has taught me that their softness and subtlety do not mean they lack power. His gentle pictures, indeed, are packed with His mighty healing life-force.
I could see the angels releasing power into the frantic activity happening around Lily. These prodigious beings very deliberately carried out their delegated assignment of preserving her life. Yes, epinephrine was instrumental in those moments when her airways were closing up. But so much more than that, it was the angels. The angels saved Lily’s life.
Being able to see that, to grasp it with my heart, was vital for the healing of my trauma. I needed this Spirit-breathed understanding to go beyond the level of my mind and sink into the depths of my spirit: that He has the fragile lives of those that I love guarded with perfect protection. This revelation broke off the trauma that was associated with that painful memory. I can now remember the events of that night without the accompanying sense of dread and anguish. He removed them from the place in my soul where that memory is stored.
Do you have traumatic memories stored in your soul? With all my heart, I encourage you to invite Jesus into those places. When something triggers a painful memory, don’t stuff it away. Instead, invite Him into it. Ask Him to pour His healing balm on that wound. Ask Him to minister His restoration there, pouring out to you the spirit of revelation. Ask Him to open the eyes of your heart to see those events of your life the way He does. Ask for Holy Spirit-breathed revelation to flow through your spirit, restoring you to wholeness. Ask confidently, dear one. Jesus your Healer took wounds so He could fully heal yours.
Have you experienced healing from God from trauma? I’d love to hear about it!